- Published on
Most people have complicated (and often inaccurate) ideas about hypnosis. Some have tried it once and concluded it “didn’t work.” Others believe they simply can’t be hypnotized. And for many, lingering fears remain: Will I lose control? Will someone manipulate my mind?
We can thank movies, stage performances, and comedy sketches for many of these misconceptions.
In reality, hypnosis is far more practical, grounded, and empowering than it’s often portrayed.
Can Anyone Be Hypnotized?
A common question is: “Can everyone be hypnotized?”
The answer is simpler than you might expect: if you’re willing and open to the process, you can experience hypnosis.
Most people who seek hypnosis already have a goal in mind, whether it’s reducing stress, breaking a habit, or improving confidence. It’s rare for someone to schedule a consultation or session without at least some level of willingness to engage in the process. That willingness is the key ingredient.
What Does Hypnosis Feel Like?
Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis does not mean losing consciousness or being “put under.”
While each person’s experience is unique, most people report feeling:
Hypnosis is often described as a relaxed state, but a more accurate definition could be a state of focused attention.
Some people do feel deeply relaxed, even sleepy. Others feel surprisingly alert, sometimes more awake than usual. It’s not uncommon for clients to say:
“I was awake the whole time!”
And that’s exactly the point.
This misconception often leads people to believe hypnosis didn’t work for them, when in fact, they were experiencing it correctly all along. A well-guided session doesn’t take away your awareness; it sharpens it.
How Hypnosis Works: The Conscious vs. Subconscious Mind
To understand hypnosis, it helps to understand how the mind operates.
The Power of the Subconscious Mind
Your subconscious mind plays a major role in shaping your behaviors and reactions. It develops primarily during early childhood; roughly from birth to age eight.
During these formative years, you absorb information from your environment and begin forming beliefs about:
Here’s the key insight:
Familiar does not always mean beneficial. It simply means known.
Even experiences that are objectively negative can feel “safe” to the subconscious because they are familiar. This can lead to repeating patterns or habits that your conscious mind no longer wants.
Reprogramming the Mind Through Hypnosis
At first, this realization can feel discouraging, especially when reflecting on difficult childhood experiences. But there’s also good news:
The subconscious mind can be retrained.
Hypnosis provides a way to reprogram limiting beliefs and behaviors, aligning them with your current goals and values.
Think of it like learning any new skill:
At first, it takes conscious effort. But with repetition, it becomes automatic.
The same principle applies to mental habits. With consistent practice, new patterns can replace old ones, allowing you to respond to life in more intentional, empowering ways.
Hypnosis Is a Tool for Change
Hypnosis isn’t about control. It’s about collaboration. You remain aware, engaged, and in control throughout the process.
Rather than something mysterious or intimidating, hypnosis is simply a natural mental state that allows for focused learning and meaningful change.
When approached with openness and the right guidance, it can be a powerful tool for:
We can thank movies, stage performances, and comedy sketches for many of these misconceptions.
In reality, hypnosis is far more practical, grounded, and empowering than it’s often portrayed.
Can Anyone Be Hypnotized?
A common question is: “Can everyone be hypnotized?”
The answer is simpler than you might expect: if you’re willing and open to the process, you can experience hypnosis.
Most people who seek hypnosis already have a goal in mind, whether it’s reducing stress, breaking a habit, or improving confidence. It’s rare for someone to schedule a consultation or session without at least some level of willingness to engage in the process. That willingness is the key ingredient.
What Does Hypnosis Feel Like?
Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis does not mean losing consciousness or being “put under.”
While each person’s experience is unique, most people report feeling:
- Physically relaxed
- Emotionally calm and comfortable
- Mentally alert and aware
Hypnosis is often described as a relaxed state, but a more accurate definition could be a state of focused attention.
Some people do feel deeply relaxed, even sleepy. Others feel surprisingly alert, sometimes more awake than usual. It’s not uncommon for clients to say:
“I was awake the whole time!”
And that’s exactly the point.
This misconception often leads people to believe hypnosis didn’t work for them, when in fact, they were experiencing it correctly all along. A well-guided session doesn’t take away your awareness; it sharpens it.
How Hypnosis Works: The Conscious vs. Subconscious Mind
To understand hypnosis, it helps to understand how the mind operates.
- The conscious mind is analytical, logical, and deliberate.
- The subconscious mind is fast, automatic, and deeply conditioned.
The Power of the Subconscious Mind
Your subconscious mind plays a major role in shaping your behaviors and reactions. It develops primarily during early childhood; roughly from birth to age eight.
During these formative years, you absorb information from your environment and begin forming beliefs about:
- What is safe or unsafe
- What is positive or negative
- How the world works
Here’s the key insight:
Familiar does not always mean beneficial. It simply means known.
Even experiences that are objectively negative can feel “safe” to the subconscious because they are familiar. This can lead to repeating patterns or habits that your conscious mind no longer wants.
Reprogramming the Mind Through Hypnosis
At first, this realization can feel discouraging, especially when reflecting on difficult childhood experiences. But there’s also good news:
The subconscious mind can be retrained.
Hypnosis provides a way to reprogram limiting beliefs and behaviors, aligning them with your current goals and values.
Think of it like learning any new skill:
- Riding a bike
- Driving a car
- Playing an instrument
At first, it takes conscious effort. But with repetition, it becomes automatic.
The same principle applies to mental habits. With consistent practice, new patterns can replace old ones, allowing you to respond to life in more intentional, empowering ways.
Hypnosis Is a Tool for Change
Hypnosis isn’t about control. It’s about collaboration. You remain aware, engaged, and in control throughout the process.
Rather than something mysterious or intimidating, hypnosis is simply a natural mental state that allows for focused learning and meaningful change.
When approached with openness and the right guidance, it can be a powerful tool for:
- Breaking unwanted habits
- Reducing anxiety and stress
- Improving confidence and performance
- Creating lasting behavioral change
- Published on
For people living with chronic pain, discomfort is only part of the story. Over time, pain can become so familiar that many individuals struggle to remember what life felt like without it. However, the impact goes far beyond physical sensations. Chronic pain often disrupts sleep, weakens focus and concentration, and limits mobility, creating a ripple effect across every aspect of daily life.
Many people also experience a deep sense of isolation. Even with access to online forums and support groups, the constant focus on symptoms and negative experiences can unintentionally reinforce feelings of hopelessness rather than relief.
Many people also experience a deep sense of isolation. Even with access to online forums and support groups, the constant focus on symptoms and negative experiences can unintentionally reinforce feelings of hopelessness rather than relief.
The Hidden Burden of Chronic Pain
A common and frustrating reality for many sufferers is the absence of clear answers. Years of medical appointments, scans, and treatments can lead to dead ends and false hope. This uncertainty often leaves individuals feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of where to turn next.
Living with chronic pain also places strain on emotional and social well-being. Persistent discomfort can interfere with sleep quality, reduce productivity at work, and create tension in relationships. Over time, this combination of physical and emotional stress can become overwhelming.
A common and frustrating reality for many sufferers is the absence of clear answers. Years of medical appointments, scans, and treatments can lead to dead ends and false hope. This uncertainty often leaves individuals feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of where to turn next.
Living with chronic pain also places strain on emotional and social well-being. Persistent discomfort can interfere with sleep quality, reduce productivity at work, and create tension in relationships. Over time, this combination of physical and emotional stress can become overwhelming.
Why Chronic Pain Sufferers Feel Unheard
One of the most difficult aspects of chronic pain is the feeling of not being fully understood. Because pain is invisible, it is often hard to communicate its severity to others, including healthcare providers. This can lead to frustration and a sense of being dismissed or overlooked.
Despite these challenges, many individuals with chronic pain develop remarkable resilience. They learn to cope, adapt, and push through difficult days. This determination, while admirable, can also mask how much support they truly need.
One of the most difficult aspects of chronic pain is the feeling of not being fully understood. Because pain is invisible, it is often hard to communicate its severity to others, including healthcare providers. This can lead to frustration and a sense of being dismissed or overlooked.
Despite these challenges, many individuals with chronic pain develop remarkable resilience. They learn to cope, adapt, and push through difficult days. This determination, while admirable, can also mask how much support they truly need.
Why Hypnosis Can Be Effective for Chronic Pain
Interestingly, this same resilience makes chronic pain sufferers especially strong candidates for hypnosis. Their ability to focus, endure discomfort, and remain mentally engaged can enhance the effectiveness of hypnotic techniques.
Hypnosis is not a new or experimental approach. In fact, pain relief is one of its most researched and historically documented uses. Records dating back to ancient Egypt, around 1500 BC, describe practices in so-called sleep temples, where individuals sought healing through guided suggestion and focused attention. Patients would enter a trance-like state while priest-physicians offered positive suggestions to influence their experience of illness.
Modern hypnosis uses similar principles, though with refined and evidence-based techniques. For example, eye fixation methods are often used to help individuals enter a relaxed and focused state of awareness.
Interestingly, this same resilience makes chronic pain sufferers especially strong candidates for hypnosis. Their ability to focus, endure discomfort, and remain mentally engaged can enhance the effectiveness of hypnotic techniques.
Hypnosis is not a new or experimental approach. In fact, pain relief is one of its most researched and historically documented uses. Records dating back to ancient Egypt, around 1500 BC, describe practices in so-called sleep temples, where individuals sought healing through guided suggestion and focused attention. Patients would enter a trance-like state while priest-physicians offered positive suggestions to influence their experience of illness.
Modern hypnosis uses similar principles, though with refined and evidence-based techniques. For example, eye fixation methods are often used to help individuals enter a relaxed and focused state of awareness.
How Hypnosis Changes Pain Perception
It is important to understand that hypnosis does not simply remove pain. Instead, it works by changing how the brain interprets pain signals. Pain is not just a physical sensation; it is also shaped by perception, attention, and emotional response.
Through hypnosis, individuals can learn to:
A Different Approach to Pain Relief
For those who feel stuck in a cycle of chronic pain with no clear answers, hypnosis offers a different perspective. Rather than focusing solely on eliminating pain, it empowers individuals to change their relationship with it.
This approach can help reduce suffering, restore a sense of control, and open the door to a more balanced and fulfilling life, even in the presence of ongoing symptoms.
It is important to understand that hypnosis does not simply remove pain. Instead, it works by changing how the brain interprets pain signals. Pain is not just a physical sensation; it is also shaped by perception, attention, and emotional response.
Through hypnosis, individuals can learn to:
- Reduce the intensity of pain sensations
- Shift attention away from discomfort
- Reframe how pain is experienced mentally
- Increase relaxation and improve sleep quality
A Different Approach to Pain Relief
For those who feel stuck in a cycle of chronic pain with no clear answers, hypnosis offers a different perspective. Rather than focusing solely on eliminating pain, it empowers individuals to change their relationship with it.
This approach can help reduce suffering, restore a sense of control, and open the door to a more balanced and fulfilling life, even in the presence of ongoing symptoms.
- Published on
I recently started playing with Legos again.
As a kid, Legos were more my brother's thing, though back then we mostly had generic colored blocks rather than themed sets. We'd build elaborate towns together, invent stories for the characters, and after our first trip to Disney, we even constructed our own Lego Disneyland. None of my kids really caught the Lego bug, but last year my son gave me a flower bouquet set for Mother's Day, and working on it together reminded me how genuinely satisfying it feels to build something with your hands.
This year I got a couple more sets for my birthday. Something fun. Something analog.
I've been craving that more and more lately: time away from screens. So much of my life is spent on the computer that my free time has increasingly become about finding ways to truly unplug: reading, coloring, crafting. For a while, though, I didn't realize that what I thought was "downtime" wasn't actually restoring me at all. I was scrolling. Watching reels. Consuming without creating. My brain was busy but not resting; stimulated, but not nourished.
Sound familiar?
When "Easy" Isn't the Point
Here's what surprised me when I picked up those Lego sets: it wasn't easy. Lego instructions are entirely visual: no words, just photos of each step. And I am very much a multi-modal learner. I want the lecture, the book, and the notes all at once. Give me all the information. So a wordless picture book for assembling a complex structure? A little disorienting.
More than once, I assembled a section incorrectly and had to take it apart and start over.
In the past, that might have derailed me. The frustration could have spiraled: why can't I get this right, this is supposed to be fun, I'm making a mess of a children's toy. (You might be familiar with the inner voice I mean).
But instead, something different happened. I felt a quiet, steady determination. A calm certainty that I could figure it out, and that starting over wasn't a failure. It was just part of the process.
I've been thinking about why that felt different. And I think it comes back to the work I've been doing, both personally and professionally.
Growing at the Edge of Your Comfort Zone
I've been training in a modality called Metaphors of Movement, and working with it has required me to stretch in ways that don't always feel comfortable. Learning new approaches means sitting with confusion, experimenting, getting things slightly wrong, and staying curious anyway.
The same has been true of IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy), another approach I use with clients. Both were developed by Andrew Austin, and he describes the distinction between them in a way I find beautifully clear:
"When life has messed up the person (i.e. stuff happened to them) then IEMT is the model of choice. When it is the person who is messing up life (i.e. they are doing stuff to life) then MoM is a better choice."
IEMT helps process what happened to you. Metaphors of Movement helps shift the patterns you're creating, the subtle, often invisible ways we get in our own way, limit our own lives, or repeat cycles we can't quite see from the inside.
That distinction matters. Because many people arrive at therapy having done significant healing work. They've processed old wounds, made sense of their past, found their footing. And yet something still feels stuck. Life still isn't quite unfolding the way they'd hoped.
That's often where Metaphors of Movement becomes remarkable.
What This Means for You
If you've ever felt like you've done the work: journaled, reflected, maybe even been in therapy before, and still find yourself running into the same walls, it may not be that you haven't healed enough. It may be that the next layer of change isn't about what happened to you. It's about discovering how you've been unconsciously shaping your experience since then.
That's subtle, important work. And it doesn't require you to have it all figured out before it starts helping.
Here's what struck me most in those Lego moments: the set got built. Even while I was confused, even while I backtracked, even while I checked the photos three times trying to figure out which piece went where, the thing came together. Piece by piece, step by step.
Metaphors of Movement works the same way with clients. Even as I'm still deepening my own fluency with it, even when I pause to check my notes mid-session, the process does something. Change happens, often in ways that feel surprisingly gentle and surprisingly lasting.
You don't have to wait until everything is perfectly understood to begin. You just have to be willing to sit with the process, and trust that starting over, or slowing down, or asking for help isn't failure.
It's just part of building something worth keeping.
As a kid, Legos were more my brother's thing, though back then we mostly had generic colored blocks rather than themed sets. We'd build elaborate towns together, invent stories for the characters, and after our first trip to Disney, we even constructed our own Lego Disneyland. None of my kids really caught the Lego bug, but last year my son gave me a flower bouquet set for Mother's Day, and working on it together reminded me how genuinely satisfying it feels to build something with your hands.
This year I got a couple more sets for my birthday. Something fun. Something analog.
I've been craving that more and more lately: time away from screens. So much of my life is spent on the computer that my free time has increasingly become about finding ways to truly unplug: reading, coloring, crafting. For a while, though, I didn't realize that what I thought was "downtime" wasn't actually restoring me at all. I was scrolling. Watching reels. Consuming without creating. My brain was busy but not resting; stimulated, but not nourished.
Sound familiar?
When "Easy" Isn't the Point
Here's what surprised me when I picked up those Lego sets: it wasn't easy. Lego instructions are entirely visual: no words, just photos of each step. And I am very much a multi-modal learner. I want the lecture, the book, and the notes all at once. Give me all the information. So a wordless picture book for assembling a complex structure? A little disorienting.
More than once, I assembled a section incorrectly and had to take it apart and start over.
In the past, that might have derailed me. The frustration could have spiraled: why can't I get this right, this is supposed to be fun, I'm making a mess of a children's toy. (You might be familiar with the inner voice I mean).
But instead, something different happened. I felt a quiet, steady determination. A calm certainty that I could figure it out, and that starting over wasn't a failure. It was just part of the process.
I've been thinking about why that felt different. And I think it comes back to the work I've been doing, both personally and professionally.
Growing at the Edge of Your Comfort Zone
I've been training in a modality called Metaphors of Movement, and working with it has required me to stretch in ways that don't always feel comfortable. Learning new approaches means sitting with confusion, experimenting, getting things slightly wrong, and staying curious anyway.
The same has been true of IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy), another approach I use with clients. Both were developed by Andrew Austin, and he describes the distinction between them in a way I find beautifully clear:
"When life has messed up the person (i.e. stuff happened to them) then IEMT is the model of choice. When it is the person who is messing up life (i.e. they are doing stuff to life) then MoM is a better choice."
IEMT helps process what happened to you. Metaphors of Movement helps shift the patterns you're creating, the subtle, often invisible ways we get in our own way, limit our own lives, or repeat cycles we can't quite see from the inside.
That distinction matters. Because many people arrive at therapy having done significant healing work. They've processed old wounds, made sense of their past, found their footing. And yet something still feels stuck. Life still isn't quite unfolding the way they'd hoped.
That's often where Metaphors of Movement becomes remarkable.
What This Means for You
If you've ever felt like you've done the work: journaled, reflected, maybe even been in therapy before, and still find yourself running into the same walls, it may not be that you haven't healed enough. It may be that the next layer of change isn't about what happened to you. It's about discovering how you've been unconsciously shaping your experience since then.
That's subtle, important work. And it doesn't require you to have it all figured out before it starts helping.
Here's what struck me most in those Lego moments: the set got built. Even while I was confused, even while I backtracked, even while I checked the photos three times trying to figure out which piece went where, the thing came together. Piece by piece, step by step.
Metaphors of Movement works the same way with clients. Even as I'm still deepening my own fluency with it, even when I pause to check my notes mid-session, the process does something. Change happens, often in ways that feel surprisingly gentle and surprisingly lasting.
You don't have to wait until everything is perfectly understood to begin. You just have to be willing to sit with the process, and trust that starting over, or slowing down, or asking for help isn't failure.
It's just part of building something worth keeping.
Curious whether IEMT or Metaphors of Movement might be a fit for what you're working through? I'd love to connect.
- Published on
It's my 46th birthday this week.
I thought about marking it the way people do on the internet, one of those "who's going to tell her?" photo roundups, the kind where you scroll through decades of yourself and cringe, laugh, or both. So I pulled out the old albums and started looking.
What I found surprised me.
The Girl in the Photos
The baby photos and early childhood snapshots are sweet but distant. I can piece together the context: a birthday cake, a Christmas morning, a family holiday, but I can't feel myself inside those moments. That little girl is mine in the way a character in a beloved book is yours: familiar, but separate.
The teenage years are different. My best friend and I were obsessed with taking photos, and those albums are full of laughter so vivid I can practically still hear it.
And then: marriage. Motherhood. Young and fully in it.
Being Someone's Mother for Half My Life
Here's a number that stopped me in my tracks this year: I have officially been someone's mother for half of my life.
Looking at those photos, my daughters with their impossibly chubby cheeks and boisterous smiles, my son, the apple of all of our eyes - there was a deep ache in my chest. The best kind of ache. The kind that means something mattered.
I saw every version of myself in those images: someone's wife, someone's mom, pregnant again (and again, and again), single, then someone else's wife. Divorced again. Life, in all its beautiful, messy iterations.
I saw my brother, young, tall, a genuinely hilarious uncle. I saw my sister, always beside me, always laughing. I honestly don't know how I would have raised my children without her. She is one of the greatest constants of my life.
I saw my own mom, not much older than I am now, kneeling in garden photos and pulling kids onto her lap. What a gift my parents' involvement was. Weekends at Grandpa's house, visits to Grandma's, a steady undercurrent of love and support that my children grew up in.
A Trip Down Memory Lane (Without the Grief)
I was emotional going through those photos.
But here's what was different: it wasn't sadness.
It was joy. Pure, full-bodied joy. The kind that makes you think: I would take all of it back. Every hard, exhausting, beautiful moment of it. What once felt impossibly challenging, when viewed from here, looks like perseverance. Like growth. Like a life actually lived.
And I know exactly why I was able to feel it that way.
The Unexpected Side Effect of IEMT Nobody Talks About
I'm an Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) practitioner, and I've experienced the work firsthand as a client. Most conversations about IEMT focus on its power to process difficult emotions: grief, frustration, fear, painful memories.
But today I want to talk about a side effect that doesn't get nearly enough airtime.
After doing IEMT work, I can look back at my entire life without judgement.
Not through a lens of regret. Not with the urge to delete photos of an ex or cringe away from old versions of myself. Not with the heavy, complicated grief that so often colours nostalgia.
Instead: gratitude. Appreciation. A genuine, settled love for every version of me that shows up in those photos: the young mom, the woman starting over, the girl who was just figuring it out.
Could I have done some things differently? Of course. But for the first time in a long time, I don't need to armour myself against my own history to answer that honestly.
That is an extraordinary thing. And it gives me real hope for the years ahead; that they can be even more joy-filled, now that I've made peace with the ones behind me.
When Your Identity Gets Outgrown: The Transition Nobody Names
Having my children young meant I arrived at a version of empty nest syndrome earlier than most.
For a season, I had quietly forgotten something important: being a mother is not my identity. It's a part of who I am, one beautiful, defining piece of a much larger whole.
The feelings that arrive when something you've devoted years of energy to becomes self-sustaining (or complete) are rarely discussed openly. But they are so common. I see it regularly with my own clients: not just in parenting transitions, but at graduation, retirement, after a long relationship ends, after a major career chapter closes.
These are the quiet identity earthquakes. The "who am I now?" moments. They deserve far more space in the conversation.
Change Is Slow, and Then All at Once
I was speaking with someone recently about one of the more unexpected shifts I noticed after my own IEMT sessions: I could leave dirty dishes in the sink.
I was laughing as I said: "maybe you can't relate, but if you know, you know" and she understood immediately. Because it's never really about the dishes.
With subconscious modalities, change doesn't always announce itself. At first it can feel like nothing is shifting. And then one day, you pull out a box of old photos on your birthday, and you realize: everything has.
46, and Actually Looking Forward
In many ways, I can't believe that 20 years have passed since some of those memories. It feels like yesterday and like another lifetime, both at once.
But I'm not sitting here wishing I could go back. I'm sitting here grateful for all of it, for right now, and for what's still ahead.
Happy birthday to me. I can't wait to see what comes next.
I thought about marking it the way people do on the internet, one of those "who's going to tell her?" photo roundups, the kind where you scroll through decades of yourself and cringe, laugh, or both. So I pulled out the old albums and started looking.
What I found surprised me.
The Girl in the Photos
The baby photos and early childhood snapshots are sweet but distant. I can piece together the context: a birthday cake, a Christmas morning, a family holiday, but I can't feel myself inside those moments. That little girl is mine in the way a character in a beloved book is yours: familiar, but separate.
The teenage years are different. My best friend and I were obsessed with taking photos, and those albums are full of laughter so vivid I can practically still hear it.
And then: marriage. Motherhood. Young and fully in it.
Being Someone's Mother for Half My Life
Here's a number that stopped me in my tracks this year: I have officially been someone's mother for half of my life.
Looking at those photos, my daughters with their impossibly chubby cheeks and boisterous smiles, my son, the apple of all of our eyes - there was a deep ache in my chest. The best kind of ache. The kind that means something mattered.
I saw every version of myself in those images: someone's wife, someone's mom, pregnant again (and again, and again), single, then someone else's wife. Divorced again. Life, in all its beautiful, messy iterations.
I saw my brother, young, tall, a genuinely hilarious uncle. I saw my sister, always beside me, always laughing. I honestly don't know how I would have raised my children without her. She is one of the greatest constants of my life.
I saw my own mom, not much older than I am now, kneeling in garden photos and pulling kids onto her lap. What a gift my parents' involvement was. Weekends at Grandpa's house, visits to Grandma's, a steady undercurrent of love and support that my children grew up in.
A Trip Down Memory Lane (Without the Grief)
I was emotional going through those photos.
But here's what was different: it wasn't sadness.
It was joy. Pure, full-bodied joy. The kind that makes you think: I would take all of it back. Every hard, exhausting, beautiful moment of it. What once felt impossibly challenging, when viewed from here, looks like perseverance. Like growth. Like a life actually lived.
And I know exactly why I was able to feel it that way.
The Unexpected Side Effect of IEMT Nobody Talks About
I'm an Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) practitioner, and I've experienced the work firsthand as a client. Most conversations about IEMT focus on its power to process difficult emotions: grief, frustration, fear, painful memories.
But today I want to talk about a side effect that doesn't get nearly enough airtime.
After doing IEMT work, I can look back at my entire life without judgement.
Not through a lens of regret. Not with the urge to delete photos of an ex or cringe away from old versions of myself. Not with the heavy, complicated grief that so often colours nostalgia.
Instead: gratitude. Appreciation. A genuine, settled love for every version of me that shows up in those photos: the young mom, the woman starting over, the girl who was just figuring it out.
Could I have done some things differently? Of course. But for the first time in a long time, I don't need to armour myself against my own history to answer that honestly.
That is an extraordinary thing. And it gives me real hope for the years ahead; that they can be even more joy-filled, now that I've made peace with the ones behind me.
When Your Identity Gets Outgrown: The Transition Nobody Names
Having my children young meant I arrived at a version of empty nest syndrome earlier than most.
For a season, I had quietly forgotten something important: being a mother is not my identity. It's a part of who I am, one beautiful, defining piece of a much larger whole.
The feelings that arrive when something you've devoted years of energy to becomes self-sustaining (or complete) are rarely discussed openly. But they are so common. I see it regularly with my own clients: not just in parenting transitions, but at graduation, retirement, after a long relationship ends, after a major career chapter closes.
These are the quiet identity earthquakes. The "who am I now?" moments. They deserve far more space in the conversation.
Change Is Slow, and Then All at Once
I was speaking with someone recently about one of the more unexpected shifts I noticed after my own IEMT sessions: I could leave dirty dishes in the sink.
I was laughing as I said: "maybe you can't relate, but if you know, you know" and she understood immediately. Because it's never really about the dishes.
With subconscious modalities, change doesn't always announce itself. At first it can feel like nothing is shifting. And then one day, you pull out a box of old photos on your birthday, and you realize: everything has.
46, and Actually Looking Forward
In many ways, I can't believe that 20 years have passed since some of those memories. It feels like yesterday and like another lifetime, both at once.
But I'm not sitting here wishing I could go back. I'm sitting here grateful for all of it, for right now, and for what's still ahead.
Happy birthday to me. I can't wait to see what comes next.
If any of this resonated with you, whether you're navigating a big life transition, struggling to look back without regret, or simply curious about IEMT, I'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or reach out directly.
- Published on
If you follow my work, you know I'm always talking about making conscious choices about what we put into our bodies, our homes, and our lives. This February, I decided to apply that same mindful approach to something a little unexpected: my grocery shopping.
Welcome to my February Minimum Food Shopping Challenge.
Why I Started a Pantry Challenge
One of my biggest personal goals this year is building financial wellness. I believe financial health is a pillar of holistic health. Chronic financial stress affects our cortisol levels, our sleep, our digestion, and our relationships. So this year I'm getting intentional about spending: shopping thrift stores, repairing instead of replacing, and using what I already have.
That naturally led me to my pantry.
Like so many of us, I had fallen into the habit of impulse buying at the grocery store: stocking up on ingredients for recipes I'd never get around to making, buying duplicates of things I already had, letting food slowly expire in the back of the cabinet. I used to navigate this kind of scarcity mindset as a young single mom, making do with what was available. Looking back, that season of my life actually taught me a lot about creativity, resourcefulness, and gratitude.
This February, I'm bringing that energy back, not from a place of scarcity, but of a place of mindfullness.
What the Challenge Actually Looks Like
The rules are simple: eat through my pantry and freezer first. Each week I still purchase fresh produce and any true necessities, but I don't buy anything I already have at home or anything that's just for a new recipe I want to try.
Before I started, I took a full inventory of my pantry and freezer and brainstormed a list of meal ideas. I plan for about 6 meals per week rather than 7, because leftovers are a built-in part of mindful, low-waste eating. (Plus, I don't want to cook every day!) As I complete each meal, I cross it off the list, which helps me stay focused on what I have rather than what I think I'm missing.
Real Food, Real Nourishment: A Pantry Meal Example
Here's what I made just this week: I had leftover pot roast in the freezer that needed to be used. Rather than let it go to waste, I simmered it down with a jar of pasta sauce and some fresh mushrooms into a rich, hearty meat sauce. Instead of reaching for dried spaghetti, I used a spaghetti squash sitting on my counter, which added extra fiber, more micronutrients, and made use of something perishable.
The result? A nourishing, whole-food meal made entirely from what I already had.
My February Pantry Challenge Meal Plan
Here's where I stand with about 10 days left in the month. Bolded meals are already done!
Pasta Nights
What This Challenge Is Teaching Me
Beyond saving money, this challenge has been a genuine mindfulness practice. It's made me slow down and appreciate the abundance that was already right in front of me. It's reconnected me to the creativity and resourcefulness that good, nourishing cooking actually requires.
As a health coach, I always encourage my clients to approach food with curiosity rather than rigidity. This challenge is a beautiful example of that. You don't need the trendiest superfoods or a perfectly curated pantry to eat well. You need awareness, intention, and a willingness to work with what you have.
Want to Try Your Own Pantry Challenge?
Here's how to start:
Enjoyed this post? Share it with a friend who could use a little more mindful eating inspiration this winter.
Welcome to my February Minimum Food Shopping Challenge.
Why I Started a Pantry Challenge
One of my biggest personal goals this year is building financial wellness. I believe financial health is a pillar of holistic health. Chronic financial stress affects our cortisol levels, our sleep, our digestion, and our relationships. So this year I'm getting intentional about spending: shopping thrift stores, repairing instead of replacing, and using what I already have.
That naturally led me to my pantry.
Like so many of us, I had fallen into the habit of impulse buying at the grocery store: stocking up on ingredients for recipes I'd never get around to making, buying duplicates of things I already had, letting food slowly expire in the back of the cabinet. I used to navigate this kind of scarcity mindset as a young single mom, making do with what was available. Looking back, that season of my life actually taught me a lot about creativity, resourcefulness, and gratitude.
This February, I'm bringing that energy back, not from a place of scarcity, but of a place of mindfullness.
What the Challenge Actually Looks Like
The rules are simple: eat through my pantry and freezer first. Each week I still purchase fresh produce and any true necessities, but I don't buy anything I already have at home or anything that's just for a new recipe I want to try.
Before I started, I took a full inventory of my pantry and freezer and brainstormed a list of meal ideas. I plan for about 6 meals per week rather than 7, because leftovers are a built-in part of mindful, low-waste eating. (Plus, I don't want to cook every day!) As I complete each meal, I cross it off the list, which helps me stay focused on what I have rather than what I think I'm missing.
Real Food, Real Nourishment: A Pantry Meal Example
Here's what I made just this week: I had leftover pot roast in the freezer that needed to be used. Rather than let it go to waste, I simmered it down with a jar of pasta sauce and some fresh mushrooms into a rich, hearty meat sauce. Instead of reaching for dried spaghetti, I used a spaghetti squash sitting on my counter, which added extra fiber, more micronutrients, and made use of something perishable.
The result? A nourishing, whole-food meal made entirely from what I already had.
My February Pantry Challenge Meal Plan
Here's where I stand with about 10 days left in the month. Bolded meals are already done!
Pasta Nights
- Pasta with pesto sauce
- Pasta with meat sauce (this became my leftover pot roast mentioned above)
- Pasta with garlic and olive oil
- Pasta with meatballs
- Lentils
- Black beans and rice
- Buckwheat Indian-spiced dish
- Rosemary white beans
- Northern beans
- Ground beef something TBD (maybe just meal prepped to go on rice)
- Burger bowls / beef bulgogi bowls
- Cottage/shepherd's pie
- Tacos
- Risotto
- Spaghetti squash
- Baked potatoes
- Potato curry or potato soup
- Steak
- Chicken cutlets
- Lamb meatballs
- Lasagna from the freezer
- Stir fry
- Leftover pot roast from freezer
- Pizza
What This Challenge Is Teaching Me
Beyond saving money, this challenge has been a genuine mindfulness practice. It's made me slow down and appreciate the abundance that was already right in front of me. It's reconnected me to the creativity and resourcefulness that good, nourishing cooking actually requires.
As a health coach, I always encourage my clients to approach food with curiosity rather than rigidity. This challenge is a beautiful example of that. You don't need the trendiest superfoods or a perfectly curated pantry to eat well. You need awareness, intention, and a willingness to work with what you have.
Want to Try Your Own Pantry Challenge?
Here's how to start:
- Take inventory. Go through your pantry, fridge, and freezer and write down everything you have.
- Brainstorm meals. What can you make from what's already there? Aim for 5–6 ideas per week.
- Set your "buy" rules. Fresh produce and true essentials only. Nothing you already own or can substitute.
- Track your progress. Cross meals off as you go — it feels surprisingly satisfying.
- Notice the mindset shifts. What comes up for you around food, abundance, and scarcity?
Enjoyed this post? Share it with a friend who could use a little more mindful eating inspiration this winter.
- Published on
As a professional working with business owners, I've noticed a consistent pattern: achieving work life balance feels impossible. Between managing clients, marketing, payroll, and endless administrative tasks, finding time for yourself seems like a distant dream.
Meanwhile, personal responsibilities pile up at home. For many business owners with families, evenings blur into carpools, homework assistance, meal prep, and household management. Even with outsourcing options like cleaning services and food delivery, the struggle remains real.
The Time Paradox Business Owners Face
"I don't have enough time" is the most common phrase I hear from clients seeking stress relief. But what exactly is time, and why does it constantly elude us?
Scientifically speaking, time is simply the progression of events from past to present to future. We measure its passage, yet we can't see, touch, or taste it. However, Einstein's theory of relativity teaches us something crucial: time is relative, depending entirely on the observer's frame of reference.
Why Time Feels Different
Interestingly, your brain's perception of time shifts based on neurochemistry. When you experience unexpected pleasure, dopamine floods your system, making your internal clock run faster.
Accordingly, short intervals actually seem longer than they are. Yet the dopamine clock hypothesis reveals something counterintuitive: when things are enjoyable, your attention to time decreases. Therefore, intervals feel shorter (which explains why time flies when you're having fun).
We've all experienced this phenomenon. Hours vanish during dinner with loved ones, while a boring meeting drags endlessly. Similarly, during my last flight from the UK, I checked the time repeatedly, only to discover mere minutes had passed.
The Myth of "Making Time"
People often say you make time for what matters. However, this phrase is technically impossible. We can't create time, only measure how we use it.
Here's what I've observed: business owners struggling with work life balance claim they lack time for exercise, healthy cooking, therapy, or meditation. Yet these same individuals somehow find time to scroll social media, answer emails constantly, or binge-watch television.
The difference? Priority and intentionality.
Scheduling Yourself Into Your Own Life
Most business owners already schedule personal appointments: haircuts, medical checkups, gym sessions, family dinners. Nevertheless, these activities represent obligations rather than genuine stress relief.
When was the last time you scheduled purely enjoyable activities? Reading for pleasure? Taking an afternoon nap? Learning something new simply because it interests you? Sitting quietly with your thoughts?
"Those things don't need scheduling," you might protest. Yet the average business owner I work with never does them. Why? Because they "don't have time."
Redefining Productivity for Better Work Life Balance
Business owners excel at making time for productive activities: work tasks, errands, networking events, health appointments. However, they rarely create space for "unproductive" moments: those essential periods of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation.
Notably, I'm not suggesting these activities for physical transformation or external validation. Instead, I'm advocating for joy, creative thinking, healthy boredom, and genuine restoration.
The One Percent Solution for Stress Relief
Here's the challenge I presented to a client this morning, and now I'm extending it to you: What if you dedicated just 14 minutes and 24 seconds daily to yourself?
This specific number isn't random. It represents exactly one percent of your day. Just one percent of your 24 hours devoted entirely to you.
Importantly, this time isn't for:
Instead, use this time to simply be. Rest without guilt. Enjoy an activity purely for pleasure. Experience something that brings you genuine joy.
Making Work Life Balance Sustainable
For business owners, sustainable stress relief doesn't require dramatic lifestyle overhauls. Rather, it starts with claiming one percent of your day for yourself.
Furthermore, when you consistently prioritize this small investment in yourself, you'll likely notice improved focus, enhanced creativity, and greater resilience in managing your business responsibilities.
Ultimately, achieving work life balance isn't about finding more hours in the day. It's about intentionally using the hours you have to nurture yourself alongside your business.
Your Next Step
Ready to reclaim your work life balance? Start today by blocking 14 minutes and 24 seconds in your calendar, just for you. Label it "personal time" or "stress relief" or simply "my 1%." Then protect it as fiercely as you'd protect your most important client meeting.
What will you do with your one percent today? Share your commitment in the comments below, or contact me to discuss personalized strategies for achieving sustainable work life balance as a business owner.
Meanwhile, personal responsibilities pile up at home. For many business owners with families, evenings blur into carpools, homework assistance, meal prep, and household management. Even with outsourcing options like cleaning services and food delivery, the struggle remains real.
The Time Paradox Business Owners Face
"I don't have enough time" is the most common phrase I hear from clients seeking stress relief. But what exactly is time, and why does it constantly elude us?
Scientifically speaking, time is simply the progression of events from past to present to future. We measure its passage, yet we can't see, touch, or taste it. However, Einstein's theory of relativity teaches us something crucial: time is relative, depending entirely on the observer's frame of reference.
Why Time Feels Different
Interestingly, your brain's perception of time shifts based on neurochemistry. When you experience unexpected pleasure, dopamine floods your system, making your internal clock run faster.
Accordingly, short intervals actually seem longer than they are. Yet the dopamine clock hypothesis reveals something counterintuitive: when things are enjoyable, your attention to time decreases. Therefore, intervals feel shorter (which explains why time flies when you're having fun).
We've all experienced this phenomenon. Hours vanish during dinner with loved ones, while a boring meeting drags endlessly. Similarly, during my last flight from the UK, I checked the time repeatedly, only to discover mere minutes had passed.
The Myth of "Making Time"
People often say you make time for what matters. However, this phrase is technically impossible. We can't create time, only measure how we use it.
Here's what I've observed: business owners struggling with work life balance claim they lack time for exercise, healthy cooking, therapy, or meditation. Yet these same individuals somehow find time to scroll social media, answer emails constantly, or binge-watch television.
The difference? Priority and intentionality.
Scheduling Yourself Into Your Own Life
Most business owners already schedule personal appointments: haircuts, medical checkups, gym sessions, family dinners. Nevertheless, these activities represent obligations rather than genuine stress relief.
When was the last time you scheduled purely enjoyable activities? Reading for pleasure? Taking an afternoon nap? Learning something new simply because it interests you? Sitting quietly with your thoughts?
"Those things don't need scheduling," you might protest. Yet the average business owner I work with never does them. Why? Because they "don't have time."
Redefining Productivity for Better Work Life Balance
Business owners excel at making time for productive activities: work tasks, errands, networking events, health appointments. However, they rarely create space for "unproductive" moments: those essential periods of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation.
Notably, I'm not suggesting these activities for physical transformation or external validation. Instead, I'm advocating for joy, creative thinking, healthy boredom, and genuine restoration.
The One Percent Solution for Stress Relief
Here's the challenge I presented to a client this morning, and now I'm extending it to you: What if you dedicated just 14 minutes and 24 seconds daily to yourself?
This specific number isn't random. It represents exactly one percent of your day. Just one percent of your 24 hours devoted entirely to you.
Importantly, this time isn't for:
- Completing tasks for others
- Producing work deliverables
- Checking items off your to-do list
- Any obligation whatsoever
Instead, use this time to simply be. Rest without guilt. Enjoy an activity purely for pleasure. Experience something that brings you genuine joy.
Making Work Life Balance Sustainable
For business owners, sustainable stress relief doesn't require dramatic lifestyle overhauls. Rather, it starts with claiming one percent of your day for yourself.
Furthermore, when you consistently prioritize this small investment in yourself, you'll likely notice improved focus, enhanced creativity, and greater resilience in managing your business responsibilities.
Ultimately, achieving work life balance isn't about finding more hours in the day. It's about intentionally using the hours you have to nurture yourself alongside your business.
Your Next Step
Ready to reclaim your work life balance? Start today by blocking 14 minutes and 24 seconds in your calendar, just for you. Label it "personal time" or "stress relief" or simply "my 1%." Then protect it as fiercely as you'd protect your most important client meeting.
What will you do with your one percent today? Share your commitment in the comments below, or contact me to discuss personalized strategies for achieving sustainable work life balance as a business owner.
- Published on
You don’t always say it out loud, but you feel it.
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
You still show up. You still train. You still care (maybe more than ever). But something feels off. Your body feels tight instead of free. Your mind is loud when it used to be quiet. The game that once felt instinctive now feels effortful, like you’re thinking one step ahead and one step behind at the same time.
And the worst part?
You can’t point to one clear reason why.
You’re trying. You know you’re trying. But the feedback doesn’t reflect that. Coaches want more. Teammates seem frustrated. Family members ask what’s wrong. So you push harder, analyze more, care more….and somehow perform worse.
That disconnect messes with your head.
Because now it’s not just about performance.
It’s about who you are.
When Performance Stops Being Personal
Here’s what most people get wrong about this phase.
They think you’ve lost confidence.
They think you need a better mindset.
They think you just need to “be aggressive” or “trust yourself.”
But what’s actually happening runs deeper.
At some point, maybe after a bad performance, an injury, a benching, or a stretch where nothing clicked, your focus shifted outward. You stopped playing for you and started playing to avoid disappointment. To avoid criticism. To avoid letting people down.
Now every rep feels evaluated.
Every mistake feels loaded.
Every game feels like a test you might fail.
Your mind isn’t focused on the play. It's scanning for danger.
Don’t mess up.
Don’t look weak.
Don’t prove them right.
That’s not a lack of discipline.
That’s a nervous system in protection mode.
Why Overthinking Kills the Zone (And It’s Not Your Fault)
You know that feeling when you’re “in the zone”?
When everything just flows and your body knows what to do before your mind gets involved?
That state, often called flow, isn’t random. It happens when you’re clear, present, appropriately challenged, and free from internal threat.
Fear breaks that instantly.
Once your attention turns inward, toward worry, self-monitoring, or vague feedback like “you’re not confident enough”, your body tightens. You stop trusting muscle memory. You start trying to consciously control things that were never meant to be controlled.
So you hesitate.
You force.
You overcorrect.
And then come the labels:
The Identity Trap No One Talks About
Here’s the part that really keeps athletes stuck. Those beliefs aren’t logical conclusions. They’re emotional memories.
They’re tied to how you felt when you missed the shot.
When you froze in a big moment.
When you got hurt.
When everything suddenly felt fragile.
Your body remembers that fear, even when your mind wants to move on.
That’s why positive affirmations fall flat. Why “just relax” makes you more tense.
Why confidence feels impossible to force. You’re not arguing with thoughts.
You’re responding to a nervous system that thinks the threat is still happening.
So it does what it knows how to do: protect you (even if that protection costs you the game you love).
The Shift That Changes Everything
Here’s the hopeful part: You don’t have to convince yourself to be confident.
You don’t have to fake belief. You don’t have to “get tougher.”
When fear softens, focus returns naturally.
When focus returns, identity stabilizes.
Not because you tried harder, but because the internal threat signal quieted down.
When that happens, you stop managing performance and start experiencing it again. The zone isn’t something you chase. It’s something you fall back into once fear is no longer running the show.
A Permission You Might Need to Hear
You’re allowed to admit this feels scary.
You’re allowed to want your ease back.
You’re allowed to want to feel like you again.
Struggling doesn’t mean you’ve lost it.
It means something inside you is asking for resolution, not pressure.
And when fear changes, identity often follows.
If this resonated, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Sometimes, being understood is the first step back to yourself.
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
You still show up. You still train. You still care (maybe more than ever). But something feels off. Your body feels tight instead of free. Your mind is loud when it used to be quiet. The game that once felt instinctive now feels effortful, like you’re thinking one step ahead and one step behind at the same time.
And the worst part?
You can’t point to one clear reason why.
You’re trying. You know you’re trying. But the feedback doesn’t reflect that. Coaches want more. Teammates seem frustrated. Family members ask what’s wrong. So you push harder, analyze more, care more….and somehow perform worse.
That disconnect messes with your head.
Because now it’s not just about performance.
It’s about who you are.
When Performance Stops Being Personal
Here’s what most people get wrong about this phase.
They think you’ve lost confidence.
They think you need a better mindset.
They think you just need to “be aggressive” or “trust yourself.”
But what’s actually happening runs deeper.
At some point, maybe after a bad performance, an injury, a benching, or a stretch where nothing clicked, your focus shifted outward. You stopped playing for you and started playing to avoid disappointment. To avoid criticism. To avoid letting people down.
Now every rep feels evaluated.
Every mistake feels loaded.
Every game feels like a test you might fail.
Your mind isn’t focused on the play. It's scanning for danger.
Don’t mess up.
Don’t look weak.
Don’t prove them right.
That’s not a lack of discipline.
That’s a nervous system in protection mode.
Why Overthinking Kills the Zone (And It’s Not Your Fault)
You know that feeling when you’re “in the zone”?
When everything just flows and your body knows what to do before your mind gets involved?
That state, often called flow, isn’t random. It happens when you’re clear, present, appropriately challenged, and free from internal threat.
Fear breaks that instantly.
Once your attention turns inward, toward worry, self-monitoring, or vague feedback like “you’re not confident enough”, your body tightens. You stop trusting muscle memory. You start trying to consciously control things that were never meant to be controlled.
So you hesitate.
You force.
You overcorrect.
And then come the labels:
- “I’m inconsistent.”
- “I choke under pressure.”
- “I’m not the same athlete anymore.”
The Identity Trap No One Talks About
Here’s the part that really keeps athletes stuck. Those beliefs aren’t logical conclusions. They’re emotional memories.
They’re tied to how you felt when you missed the shot.
When you froze in a big moment.
When you got hurt.
When everything suddenly felt fragile.
Your body remembers that fear, even when your mind wants to move on.
That’s why positive affirmations fall flat. Why “just relax” makes you more tense.
Why confidence feels impossible to force. You’re not arguing with thoughts.
You’re responding to a nervous system that thinks the threat is still happening.
So it does what it knows how to do: protect you (even if that protection costs you the game you love).
The Shift That Changes Everything
Here’s the hopeful part: You don’t have to convince yourself to be confident.
You don’t have to fake belief. You don’t have to “get tougher.”
When fear softens, focus returns naturally.
When focus returns, identity stabilizes.
Not because you tried harder, but because the internal threat signal quieted down.
When that happens, you stop managing performance and start experiencing it again. The zone isn’t something you chase. It’s something you fall back into once fear is no longer running the show.
A Permission You Might Need to Hear
You’re allowed to admit this feels scary.
You’re allowed to want your ease back.
You’re allowed to want to feel like you again.
Struggling doesn’t mean you’ve lost it.
It means something inside you is asking for resolution, not pressure.
And when fear changes, identity often follows.
If this resonated, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Sometimes, being understood is the first step back to yourself.
- Published on
It’s not quite the Year of the Horse yet. In the Chinese calendar, the New Year follows the lunar cycle, which means the next new year begins on February 17, 2026. In Chinese culture, the Horse represents freedom, energy, and a lively spirit, while the Fire element adds passion and intensity. Together, they point to a year marked by rapid movement, bold transformation, and innovation.
By contrast, 2025 (the Year of the Snake) has been a time of shedding the old. The Snake symbolizes quiet transformation: letting go, releasing what no longer fits, and slowly outgrowing outdated skins. For many people, this has been a challenging year, and that weight may feel especially heavy in these final weeks.
This moment offers an opportunity to take both literal and metaphorical inventory. What are you holding onto that no longer fits your life? This might include clothes from a former job, goal-weight items you no longer resonate with, or possessions kept out of guilt, perhaps because they were given by someone you care about.
And beyond physical belongings, what emotional patterns or lingering guilt are you still carrying? You may notice old reactions resurfacing, responses you believed you had already moved beyond. Rather than seeing this as failure or regression, it can be helpful to view it as information: a signal that something is ready to be resolved at a deeper level.
This is where approaches such as IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) and hypnosis can be particularly powerful. Both work beneath conscious thought, addressing the emotional imprints that keep certain reactions, beliefs, or feelings in place, often long after they are useful.
IEMT focuses on how emotions are stored and triggered in the body, mind, and nervous system. Instead of endlessly revisiting the story of what happened, it works directly with the emotional response itself. By gently shifting how those emotions are encoded, people often find that old reactions lose their intensity or disappear altogether. The memory may still exist, but it no longer carries the same emotional charge.
Hypnosis works in a complementary way by engaging the subconscious mind, the place where habits, beliefs, and emotional patterns are formed and maintained. In a deeply relaxed and focused state, it becomes easier to update outdated beliefs, release unconscious guilt, and create new emotional responses that feel more aligned with who you are now.
Used together or separately, these methods allow for change without force or self-judgment. Rather than asking, “Why am I like this?” the question gently becomes, “How did I learn this response...and what would I like instead?” From that place, transformation feels less like effort and more like permission.
As the Year of the Snake comes to a close, this kind of inner clearing creates space for the fiery momentum of the Horse. When emotional baggage is released, energy frees up naturally, making it easier to move forward with clarity, confidence, and a renewed sense of direction.
By contrast, 2025 (the Year of the Snake) has been a time of shedding the old. The Snake symbolizes quiet transformation: letting go, releasing what no longer fits, and slowly outgrowing outdated skins. For many people, this has been a challenging year, and that weight may feel especially heavy in these final weeks.
This moment offers an opportunity to take both literal and metaphorical inventory. What are you holding onto that no longer fits your life? This might include clothes from a former job, goal-weight items you no longer resonate with, or possessions kept out of guilt, perhaps because they were given by someone you care about.
And beyond physical belongings, what emotional patterns or lingering guilt are you still carrying? You may notice old reactions resurfacing, responses you believed you had already moved beyond. Rather than seeing this as failure or regression, it can be helpful to view it as information: a signal that something is ready to be resolved at a deeper level.
This is where approaches such as IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) and hypnosis can be particularly powerful. Both work beneath conscious thought, addressing the emotional imprints that keep certain reactions, beliefs, or feelings in place, often long after they are useful.
IEMT focuses on how emotions are stored and triggered in the body, mind, and nervous system. Instead of endlessly revisiting the story of what happened, it works directly with the emotional response itself. By gently shifting how those emotions are encoded, people often find that old reactions lose their intensity or disappear altogether. The memory may still exist, but it no longer carries the same emotional charge.
Hypnosis works in a complementary way by engaging the subconscious mind, the place where habits, beliefs, and emotional patterns are formed and maintained. In a deeply relaxed and focused state, it becomes easier to update outdated beliefs, release unconscious guilt, and create new emotional responses that feel more aligned with who you are now.
Used together or separately, these methods allow for change without force or self-judgment. Rather than asking, “Why am I like this?” the question gently becomes, “How did I learn this response...and what would I like instead?” From that place, transformation feels less like effort and more like permission.
As the Year of the Snake comes to a close, this kind of inner clearing creates space for the fiery momentum of the Horse. When emotional baggage is released, energy frees up naturally, making it easier to move forward with clarity, confidence, and a renewed sense of direction.
- Published on
I’m not sure where the idea came from that hypnosis will make someone cluck like a chicken. Many misconceptions about hypnosis stem from stage shows, where people do hilarious things. (I personally love watching these!) But a stage show is carefully crafted for the audience’s entertainment. Those participants agreed to be part of a stage show and do goofy things for laughs.
I’ve been a hypnotherapist for seven years now, and I’ve yet to have anyone request chicken impersonations as their therapeutic goal.
Why People Actually Seek Hypnotherapy
A few people come to hypnosis because they’ve tried it before and had success. Some come because they’ve been recommended by a friend or medical professional. But most people come to hypnotherapy when they’re out of options, when they’ve tried “everything” and nothing has worked, or out of sheer desperation, with a thought of “Why not? I’ll give it a try.”
Hypnosis can seem scary because we mostly see it portrayed as a loss of control: people doing silly things, dangerous things, or in many films, horrifying things. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The Reality: Hypnosis Is a Natural State
In fact, hypnosis is a natural state you experience multiple times every day: waking up, driving to work, watching a movie, falling asleep. The difference is that you’re usually entering these states unintentionally, rather than with purpose and direction.
Hypnosis is a learning state, a focused state of attention where you can intentionally program your mind toward your goals. Think of it as a heightened state of concentration where your subconscious mind becomes more receptive to positive change.
What Actually Happens in a Hypnotherapy Session
Initial Discussion First, we’ll discuss your goals and what you hope to achieve through hypnosis. In initial sessions, I also explain how the mind works, how hypnosis works, and how you can expect to feel during a session. Most people feel physically relaxed, emotionally calm and comfortable, and mentally wide awake.
This doesn’t mean you’ll catch every single word the hypnotist says. Your mind might wander, or you could find yourself thinking about other things. That’s completely normal and doesn’t diminish the effectiveness of the session.
Progressive Relaxation Sessions typically move into a progressive relaxation to help your body relax and heighten your state of internal focus. You’ll be gently guided away from outside noises as you relax into a more dreamlike state. This feels very similar to meditation, prayer, or even savasana after a yoga class.
Therapeutic Suggestions Once you’ve gone through the relaxation, your hypnotherapist will guide you through techniques to deepen the state, then offer what we call “suggestions.” We use this term because that’s exactly what they are:
suggestions, not commands.
You are always in control of your own mind, and you are always most suggestible to yourself. In my sessions, I usually add wording along the lines of “you’re open to suggestions that are comfortable and beneficial to you.” Your subconscious mind acts as a filter, accepting what serves you and disregarding what doesn’t.
This is why you can’t be hypnotized to do something against your values or will. Your mind naturally protects you, even in this relaxed, focused state.
Reorientation After about 15 to 20 minutes for first sessions (a bit longer for experienced clients), you’ll be gently brought back to full awareness. Any important information will be reiterated, and you’ll have time to ask questions about your experience.
The Bottom Line
Hypnotherapy is a powerful, evidence-based tool for personal change and healing. It’s not about losing control or doing embarrassing things. Instead, it’s about gaining greater control over your thoughts, behaviors, and emotional responses.
So no, you won’t cluck like a chicken unless that’s genuinely your goal. And in seven years, I’m still waiting for that first request.
I’ve been a hypnotherapist for seven years now, and I’ve yet to have anyone request chicken impersonations as their therapeutic goal.
Why People Actually Seek Hypnotherapy
A few people come to hypnosis because they’ve tried it before and had success. Some come because they’ve been recommended by a friend or medical professional. But most people come to hypnotherapy when they’re out of options, when they’ve tried “everything” and nothing has worked, or out of sheer desperation, with a thought of “Why not? I’ll give it a try.”
Hypnosis can seem scary because we mostly see it portrayed as a loss of control: people doing silly things, dangerous things, or in many films, horrifying things. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The Reality: Hypnosis Is a Natural State
In fact, hypnosis is a natural state you experience multiple times every day: waking up, driving to work, watching a movie, falling asleep. The difference is that you’re usually entering these states unintentionally, rather than with purpose and direction.
Hypnosis is a learning state, a focused state of attention where you can intentionally program your mind toward your goals. Think of it as a heightened state of concentration where your subconscious mind becomes more receptive to positive change.
What Actually Happens in a Hypnotherapy Session
Initial Discussion First, we’ll discuss your goals and what you hope to achieve through hypnosis. In initial sessions, I also explain how the mind works, how hypnosis works, and how you can expect to feel during a session. Most people feel physically relaxed, emotionally calm and comfortable, and mentally wide awake.
This doesn’t mean you’ll catch every single word the hypnotist says. Your mind might wander, or you could find yourself thinking about other things. That’s completely normal and doesn’t diminish the effectiveness of the session.
Progressive Relaxation Sessions typically move into a progressive relaxation to help your body relax and heighten your state of internal focus. You’ll be gently guided away from outside noises as you relax into a more dreamlike state. This feels very similar to meditation, prayer, or even savasana after a yoga class.
Therapeutic Suggestions Once you’ve gone through the relaxation, your hypnotherapist will guide you through techniques to deepen the state, then offer what we call “suggestions.” We use this term because that’s exactly what they are:
suggestions, not commands.
You are always in control of your own mind, and you are always most suggestible to yourself. In my sessions, I usually add wording along the lines of “you’re open to suggestions that are comfortable and beneficial to you.” Your subconscious mind acts as a filter, accepting what serves you and disregarding what doesn’t.
This is why you can’t be hypnotized to do something against your values or will. Your mind naturally protects you, even in this relaxed, focused state.
Reorientation After about 15 to 20 minutes for first sessions (a bit longer for experienced clients), you’ll be gently brought back to full awareness. Any important information will be reiterated, and you’ll have time to ask questions about your experience.
The Bottom Line
Hypnotherapy is a powerful, evidence-based tool for personal change and healing. It’s not about losing control or doing embarrassing things. Instead, it’s about gaining greater control over your thoughts, behaviors, and emotional responses.
So no, you won’t cluck like a chicken unless that’s genuinely your goal. And in seven years, I’m still waiting for that first request.
- Published on
What if I told you that you're already practicing hypnosis every single day, but you just don't realize it?
Every time you tell yourself "I'm so stupid" after making a mistake, or repeat "I always forget things," you're actively hypnotizing yourself. The question isn't whether you're using hypnosis; it's whether you're using it intentionally to support your goals, or accidentally to reinforce patterns that hold you back.
Understanding the Nature of Hypnosis
Here's a fundamental truth that might surprise you: all hypnosis is self-hypnosis. Even when working with a skilled hypnotherapist, you're the one doing the work. A hypnotist is simply a guide, helping you access states and resources that already exist within you. We are always most suggestible to ourselves, which is precisely why the internal dialogue we maintain matters so profoundly.
Think about it. When you catch yourself saying things like "Why am I such a dummy?" or "I forgot again! What's wrong with me?", you're not just venting frustration. You're actively programming your subconscious mind, reinforcing neural pathways that support the belief that you are forgetful, incompetent, or inadequate. Your subconscious doesn't judge these statements as true or false. It simply accepts them as instructions.
This is the double-edged sword of self-hypnosis. The same mechanism that allows negative self-talk to damage our self-concept can be harnessed intentionally to create profound positive change.
Programming Your Mind for Success
Self-hypnosis is the practice of consciously programming your mind to align with your current goals and values. Instead of allowing random, often negative thoughts to run the show, you take the director's chair and deliberately choose what to reinforce.
Want to sleep better? Reduce stress? Feel more confident at work? Build healthier habits? Self-hypnosis offers a direct pathway to communicate these intentions to your subconscious mind, the part of you that controls approximately 95% of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
The Foundation: Working with a Practitioner First
While anyone can practice self-hypnosis, there's tremendous value in first working with a skilled practitioner who specializes in subconscious behavior. Think of it as learning to drive with an instructor before heading out on the highway alone.
A qualified hypnotherapist can help you:
Achieve a reset to your authentic self. Before we internalized limiting beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of, we existed in a more natural, authentic state. Tools like Integral Eye Movement Therapy can help desensitize problematic emotions and negative beliefs, essentially clearing the slate so you can work from a healthier foundation.
Develop familiarity with the hypnotic state. Many people worry they "can't be hypnotized" or won't know if they're doing it right. Working with a practitioner helps you recognize what the hypnotic state feels like in your own body and mind, making it significantly easier to access that state independently.
Learn proper techniques. Just as you'd learn proper form in exercise to prevent injury and maximize results, learning self-hypnosis techniques from an expert ensures you're using methods that actually work.
Address deeper patterns. Some beliefs and emotional patterns require the skilled guidance of someone trained to navigate the subconscious landscape. Once these foundational issues are addressed, your self-hypnosis practice becomes exponentially more effective.
The Hidden Practice You're Already Doing
Most people practice self-hypnosis all day long without any awareness of it. Every time you zone out during your commute, lose yourself in a good book, or get absorbed in a task, you're entering a light trance state. Every time you imagine a future scenario (whether positive or negative) you're engaging your subconscious in visualization.
The difference between unconscious and conscious self-hypnosis is intentionality and direction. When you incorporate self-hypnosis into a mindful self-care practice, you're wielding this natural ability with purpose, directing it toward specific outcomes that support your wellbeing and goals.
The Magic Hours: Leveraging Key Times of Day
Your brain operates differently at different times of day, and there are specific windows when your subconscious mind is particularly receptive to suggestion. The two most powerful times are:
The moments before falling asleep. As you transition from waking consciousness to sleep, your brainwave patterns shift from beta (active thinking) through alpha (relaxed awareness) to theta (the hypnotic state). This is prime time for positive programming.
The first moments upon waking. Before your conscious, analytical mind fully kicks into gear, you experience a brief theta state window. What you think about and imagine during this time has amplified impact.
Yet what do most of us do during these valuable moments? We ruminate about our day. We worry about tomorrow's to-do list. We replay difficult conversations or imagine worst-case scenarios. We're practicing self-hypnosis, all right, but we're programming anxiety, stress, and limitation.
Imagine instead using these moments to visualize your best possible outcomes. To mentally rehearse confidence and success. To visit a future version of yourself who has already achieved your goals. This isn't just positive thinking. It's strategic reprogramming of your subconscious mind so that it works in alignment with what you actually want to create in your life.
Beyond Visualization: A Holistic Approach
While there are multiple methods for practicing self-hypnosis, I'm particularly drawn to approaches that integrate the emotional body, physical body, and intellectual mind. True transformation doesn't happen in just one dimension of our being. It requires all aspects of ourselves to come into alignment.
An effective self-hypnosis practice might include:
When these elements work together, self-hypnosis becomes more than just mental exercise. It becomes a full-body, full-being experience that creates lasting change.
The Ripple Effect of Conscious Self-Hypnosis
When you commit to a regular self-hypnosis practice, the benefits extend far beyond your specific goals. You develop:
Perhaps most importantly, you reclaim power over the narrative you tell yourself about who you are and what's possible for you.
Taking the Next Step
If you're intrigued by the potential of self-hypnosis but unsure where to start, know that this is a learnable skill. You don't need any special abilities or talents; just curiosity, willingness, and guidance on proper technique.
Learning self-hypnosis is an investment in yourself that pays dividends every single day. It's a tool you'll carry with you for life, one that grows more powerful with practice.
Your mind is already creating your reality through the thoughts you think and the beliefs you reinforce. The only question is: will you take conscious control of that process, or leave it to chance?
The choice, as always, has been yours all along.
Every time you tell yourself "I'm so stupid" after making a mistake, or repeat "I always forget things," you're actively hypnotizing yourself. The question isn't whether you're using hypnosis; it's whether you're using it intentionally to support your goals, or accidentally to reinforce patterns that hold you back.
Understanding the Nature of Hypnosis
Here's a fundamental truth that might surprise you: all hypnosis is self-hypnosis. Even when working with a skilled hypnotherapist, you're the one doing the work. A hypnotist is simply a guide, helping you access states and resources that already exist within you. We are always most suggestible to ourselves, which is precisely why the internal dialogue we maintain matters so profoundly.
Think about it. When you catch yourself saying things like "Why am I such a dummy?" or "I forgot again! What's wrong with me?", you're not just venting frustration. You're actively programming your subconscious mind, reinforcing neural pathways that support the belief that you are forgetful, incompetent, or inadequate. Your subconscious doesn't judge these statements as true or false. It simply accepts them as instructions.
This is the double-edged sword of self-hypnosis. The same mechanism that allows negative self-talk to damage our self-concept can be harnessed intentionally to create profound positive change.
Programming Your Mind for Success
Self-hypnosis is the practice of consciously programming your mind to align with your current goals and values. Instead of allowing random, often negative thoughts to run the show, you take the director's chair and deliberately choose what to reinforce.
Want to sleep better? Reduce stress? Feel more confident at work? Build healthier habits? Self-hypnosis offers a direct pathway to communicate these intentions to your subconscious mind, the part of you that controls approximately 95% of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
The Foundation: Working with a Practitioner First
While anyone can practice self-hypnosis, there's tremendous value in first working with a skilled practitioner who specializes in subconscious behavior. Think of it as learning to drive with an instructor before heading out on the highway alone.
A qualified hypnotherapist can help you:
Achieve a reset to your authentic self. Before we internalized limiting beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of, we existed in a more natural, authentic state. Tools like Integral Eye Movement Therapy can help desensitize problematic emotions and negative beliefs, essentially clearing the slate so you can work from a healthier foundation.
Develop familiarity with the hypnotic state. Many people worry they "can't be hypnotized" or won't know if they're doing it right. Working with a practitioner helps you recognize what the hypnotic state feels like in your own body and mind, making it significantly easier to access that state independently.
Learn proper techniques. Just as you'd learn proper form in exercise to prevent injury and maximize results, learning self-hypnosis techniques from an expert ensures you're using methods that actually work.
Address deeper patterns. Some beliefs and emotional patterns require the skilled guidance of someone trained to navigate the subconscious landscape. Once these foundational issues are addressed, your self-hypnosis practice becomes exponentially more effective.
The Hidden Practice You're Already Doing
Most people practice self-hypnosis all day long without any awareness of it. Every time you zone out during your commute, lose yourself in a good book, or get absorbed in a task, you're entering a light trance state. Every time you imagine a future scenario (whether positive or negative) you're engaging your subconscious in visualization.
The difference between unconscious and conscious self-hypnosis is intentionality and direction. When you incorporate self-hypnosis into a mindful self-care practice, you're wielding this natural ability with purpose, directing it toward specific outcomes that support your wellbeing and goals.
The Magic Hours: Leveraging Key Times of Day
Your brain operates differently at different times of day, and there are specific windows when your subconscious mind is particularly receptive to suggestion. The two most powerful times are:
The moments before falling asleep. As you transition from waking consciousness to sleep, your brainwave patterns shift from beta (active thinking) through alpha (relaxed awareness) to theta (the hypnotic state). This is prime time for positive programming.
The first moments upon waking. Before your conscious, analytical mind fully kicks into gear, you experience a brief theta state window. What you think about and imagine during this time has amplified impact.
Yet what do most of us do during these valuable moments? We ruminate about our day. We worry about tomorrow's to-do list. We replay difficult conversations or imagine worst-case scenarios. We're practicing self-hypnosis, all right, but we're programming anxiety, stress, and limitation.
Imagine instead using these moments to visualize your best possible outcomes. To mentally rehearse confidence and success. To visit a future version of yourself who has already achieved your goals. This isn't just positive thinking. It's strategic reprogramming of your subconscious mind so that it works in alignment with what you actually want to create in your life.
Beyond Visualization: A Holistic Approach
While there are multiple methods for practicing self-hypnosis, I'm particularly drawn to approaches that integrate the emotional body, physical body, and intellectual mind. True transformation doesn't happen in just one dimension of our being. It requires all aspects of ourselves to come into alignment.
An effective self-hypnosis practice might include:
- Physical relaxation techniques that signal safety to your nervous system
- Emotional awareness and processing to ensure you're not bypassing important feelings
- Intellectual clarity about your goals and intentions
- Sensory-rich visualization that engages all five senses
- Embodied experience of the feelings associated with your desired outcome
When these elements work together, self-hypnosis becomes more than just mental exercise. It becomes a full-body, full-being experience that creates lasting change.
The Ripple Effect of Conscious Self-Hypnosis
When you commit to a regular self-hypnosis practice, the benefits extend far beyond your specific goals. You develop:
- Greater awareness of your internal dialogue and automatic thought patterns
- Increased ability to self-regulate stress and emotional responses
- Deeper trust in your own inner wisdom and resources
- Enhanced creativity and problem-solving abilities
- A stronger sense of agency over your own mental and emotional states
Perhaps most importantly, you reclaim power over the narrative you tell yourself about who you are and what's possible for you.
Taking the Next Step
If you're intrigued by the potential of self-hypnosis but unsure where to start, know that this is a learnable skill. You don't need any special abilities or talents; just curiosity, willingness, and guidance on proper technique.
Learning self-hypnosis is an investment in yourself that pays dividends every single day. It's a tool you'll carry with you for life, one that grows more powerful with practice.
Your mind is already creating your reality through the thoughts you think and the beliefs you reinforce. The only question is: will you take conscious control of that process, or leave it to chance?
The choice, as always, has been yours all along.