What if I can't stop being anxious?

Is it any wonder that many of us (especially those of a certain age) struggle with anxiety, considering we grew up reading Where the Sidewalk Ends? Buried among its playful rhymes is the unforgettable poem “Whatif”, which so perfectly captures the restless, anxious thoughts that so many children (and adults) experience.

When I sat down to write this post, I realized that I still remember large parts of the poem by heart. That realization made me pause: perhaps, even as a child, I carried more anxiety than I understood at the time.

As a young girl, I wasn’t terribly worried about “green hair growing on my chest,” but many of the other questions were frighteningly real. Failing a test, being disliked, getting sick, or facing family struggles—these were not far-fetched worries, but very real possibilities for a child’s mind to dwell on.

The Nature of “What If” Questions
Anxious minds thrive on “what if” questions. They come in an endless stream:

• What if it doesn’t work out?
• What if I fail?
• What if I can’t handle it?
• What if something goes wrong?
  
  

At first glance, these thoughts can feel like harmless curiosities, but in reality, they often reveal the deeper beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world. Anxiety rarely presents itself as direct statements. It sneaks in through uncertainty, self-doubt, and imagined catastrophes.

The Hidden Messages Behind “What If”
When we pause to examine our “what if” questions, we can begin to see the beliefs driving them:

• What if I fail? → I believe I’m not capable enough.
• What if no one likes me? → I fear I’m not lovable or worthy.
• What if I get sick? → I don’t feel safe in my body.
  
  

By noticing these patterns, we can begin to challenge them. Sometimes, the “what if” is less about the situation itself and more about the story we’ve been carrying for years.

A Personal Example
For instance, I recently asked myself: What if I don’t go to Scotland in 2030?
On the surface, it looks like a simple logistical concern: will I have the time, money, or opportunity? But when I sat with it, I discovered it went much deeper. Beneath the surface was my fear of disappointment, my tendency to equate missed opportunities with personal failure, and a belief that if I didn’t achieve this bucket-list goal, it would mean I hadn’t worked hard enough.

That insight uncovered a limiting belief I’ve carried for years: “You have to work hard to get what you want.” While persistence and effort can certainly be valuable, this belief can also create unnecessary pressure and self-criticism, turning dreams into burdens.

Turning “What If” Into a Magnifying Glass
“What if” questions may feel like open-ended worries, but often, they already contain their own hidden answers. A simple question--What if…? usually points to an underlying belief about what the outcome would mean about us.

This is where Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) can be particularly powerful: it allows us to explore and uncover the deeper beliefs driving our fears, so they can be transformed.

Take an example from the Shel Silverstein poem:

• What if I start to cry?
  → Then everyone will see me crying.
  → Which means… I’m a loser.
  
  

Here, the real issue isn’t the external situation (someone noticing tears), but the internal belief (crying makes me weak or unworthy). The “what if” is simply the doorway that leads to that belief.

Exploring This on Your Own
This kind of exploration can be incredibly valuable as a self-reflective practice. Journaling about your “what if” questions is a great way to uncover limiting beliefs and hidden fears. Writing them out, then asking “…and then what?” or “…which means?” after each answer, can reveal layers of meaning you may not have realized you were carrying.

The Value of Guidance
While self-reflection is powerful, working with an IEMT practitioner takes this process much further. A skilled practitioner can guide you through those beliefs in a safe, structured way, helping you not just identify them but also shift and heal them.

That’s the difference between simply noticing a pattern and truly transforming it.

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